Will I what?
by blinknena182
Summary: DHr Death Eaters,Buddy System, Distubered Ron, AntiGinny. All the things that one little question did to Hermione's World. Chapter 10 up!Pre HBP
1. The Question

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter****

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**Chapter One**

Hogwarts Library was filled completely for the first time in 7 long years. All 7th years were studying for their upcoming NEWTS. All, except four.

"Harry we need to go to the library to research for the NEWTS" Hermione yelled as she caught up with Harry and Ron on the hallway.

"Hermione, can't we celebrate tonight?" Harry said and Ron grunted stupidly.

"Ron?" she said eying Ron incredulously, "Voldemort was killed a month ago. We can't keep celebrating his death every chance we get."

"Why can't we?" Harry snarled.

"Harry we have to keep living our lives. It is that simp…"Yet Hermione never got to finish her sentence because she fell out cold on the floor.

"Goyle you didn't have to hit her that hard on the head just to knock her out" A now blonde Harry said.

"Draco you said knock her out."

"But I didn't say kill her did I"

"Well…"

"You're too stupid for your own good"

"Now were should we put you?"

"Draco, you know she can't respond."

"I know that Goyle!" Draco snapped.

As he said that Goyle looked at the floor like a poor puppy.

God can you get dumber. Why can't you be like Crabbe?

"Well thank you Draco." Crabbe said with a sincere smile.

"Oh. Shut up!" Draco screamed as he stormed to the halls with Hermione's body floating behind him.

Harry and Ron were studying for the first time in all their years at Hogwarts. They were sitting in the back table that way they could see everything that was happening in Hogwarts.

"Harry?"

"Yes, Ron."

"Isn't it weird that Hermione hasn't showed up to study yet?"

"She must be seeing someone." Seamus butted in

"Who could she possibly be seeing, Seamus?"

"Well check if someone else is not here." Dean interjected as both Crabbe and Goyle sat with the Slytherin's.

"How can we do that?" As he said that Snape entered carrying a long parchment.

"I want all 7th Years to write their names on the list so we can give you all 20 more minutes before class." This filled the library with cheers "Silent! If your name is not here you will be expected to be in class at normal hours" he then set the parchment on a table and everyone rushed to sign it.

"Looks like your question has been answered Ron" Dean smiled.

Hermione felt a throbbing pain in the back of her head as she awoke in a giant bed from her forced sleep.

"So she wakes." As soon Hermione heard those words she immediately stood upright.

"Malfoy"

"Granger"

"Where am I?"

"You're home"

"What!" She screamed.

"Just kidding, you are in Malfoy Manor"

"And you think that makes I better!" she wailed.

"Granger I should explain."

"Yes you should!"

"As soon as I graduate from Hogwarts I will take on Malfoy enterprises the problem is that both of my parents and in Azkaban prison"-

"I wonder why?" Hermione said sarcastically

"And wonder you may Granger" he spat as menacingly as he could. (AN/ Which is not much.) This was responded by a snort.

"As I was saying Granger my parents are in Azkaban" as he said this he looked at her as in challenging her to do it again. "And no one will take my business seriously unless I prove that I am not my father."

"And I am here because…"

"Granger I spoke to Dumbledore and he told me that the only person that could help me do this is you"

"Pray tell how?"

"Well" Draco said as he kneeled on one knee.

"Will you Hermione Jane Granger do me the honour of being my wife?"

Dark spots started to flood her vision as she thought 'this is a sick joke' she simply said

"yuthinkiarzy" before fainting again.

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What do you think? 


	2. Nightmares and a Ceremony

This one is two pages longer I will try to write a longer chapter next time.

Hope you find this one as funny as the first one.

Don't own Harry **

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**Chapter 2**

Harry was having nightmares again. This nightmare was the worse he had had in a long time. Hermione was wearing a short white gown. She was walking slowly to a room in which only five people stood.

"Hurry Granger we don't have much time." Drawled a familiar blonde boy.

"Shut up ferret"

"Please calm down Miss" A male wizard told her.

"How can I calm down; we hate each other" she said as she glared at the other wizard.

Ignoring what was going on the elder wizard continued.

"We are gathered her today to join Mister Draco Malfoy and Miss Hermione Jane Granger in Wizard Matrimony"

Then a hooded wizard said.

"Hurry it up! He might stop us."

"Who?" Harry asked.

But he continued.

"Mister Malfoy do you accept Miss Granger to be your wife?"

At this Harry screamed at the top of his lungs for them to stop. Noticing that no one heard him or saw him.

"I do." Malfoy said with a smirk on his face

"And you Miss Granger do you accept Mister Malfoy to be your husband."

"No! Hermione don't do it he has you in his spell!"

Yet Hermione's answered was not changed.

"I do." She said with a faint smile.

"Then I pronounce you husband and wife by wizard law. You may kiss the bride."

And that's were Draco started to lean in. Harry got out of the room.

Harry couldn't believe that Hermione had married Malfoy.

Who could do such a thing as to make her marry him?

Who could be so mad?

He entered the room yet again to see who had conducted the ceremony.

Rainbow socks, purple robes but as soon as he was about to see his face he was woken up by Ron.

"Harry wake up?"

"One more second Aunt Petunia?"

"Lucius Malfoy just escaped Azkaban prison! Twenty others escaped with him!"

"But...umm…how…Hermione!"

"She is in the common room she just told me."

Harry was soothed as those words entered his mind. She was safe she didn't marry Malfoy.

"Well lets go help her."

"You can't."

"Why?"

"Only prefects are allowed to leave their dormitories."

"But…Is it that bad?"

"I am afraid so."

Hermione had been shocked as soon as she woke up and saw Draco once again in her line of vision she new.

"So Granger I need an answer now."

"I can't think this through?"

"What is there to think I am young, smart, rich, devilishly handsome if I must say, and I will give you what your parents could not give you…"

"And what is that Ferret?"

"Respect."

"So what you are saying is that you are immature, smart ass, spoiled, arrogant and that I should marry you because you are a pureblood."

"Exactly."

"You are insufferable."

"I know Granger."

"And my answer is…"

"You should also know that in about", he checked his watch, "fifteen minutes Voldemort's inner circle will escape Azkaban and the only way to stop them releasing Voldy back is that we marry."

"That changes everything."

"Glad you see it my way." He said with a cocky grin. (AN so unmalfoyish)

She started to feel woozy because of his happiness.

"So Granger what is your answer?"

"I will marry you." She said with a pained smile.

"We should be getting back."

They soon flooed to Dumbledore's office where Dumbledore along with Remus Lupin and a hooded figure.

"We are supposed to get married now." He said with glee noticing her squirm.

"But…"

"Miss Granger it's the only way" Dumledore assured her.

"For what?"

"Do you understand that the child has to be born in ten months?" The man in the hooded figure informed her.

"Bu…um."

"Granger don't you dare faint."

"I need to compose myself." she mumbled.

"Hurry Granger we don't have much time". He drawled.

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	3. Buddy System and the New Schedule

Don't Own Harry

This chapter is longer and I corrected some errors

Loved the reviews. Keep them coming :)

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Chapter 3

Lucius Malfoy was the reincarnation of evil. He had a perfect life, a beautiful wife, big house, money, he was respected, and he had a nice ass. (AN From the Chronicles of Lucius great fic). Oh, and he was evil.

Yet his plan seemed so foolish, so moronic, and so blond that it just had to work.

"Lucius, are you sure this will kill them." asked Avery.

"Yes."

"Am I doing it right?" Mr. Zabini asked.

"Yes Zabini."

"Is friction that important?" asked Goyle.

"Goyle, for the last time. No!"

"Don't be such a party popper." called Nott.

"Yeah, you aren't the one that has to hump Dementors." Macnair whined.

"Lucius, I just want to know, how the hell did you find out that Dementors die when you hump them?" Bella asked.

"He was probably drunk." Wormtail offered.

"I was not drunk." Lucius whispered.

"Then what made you do this?" Bella asked lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah humping Dementors is not something that we all just do out of curiosity." Crabbe recalled.

"Look, I though it was my wife." Lucius lied through his teeth.

"Lucius don't lie." Macnair teased.

"I am not lying."

"Are you expecting us to believe that you and Narcissa actually have sex?" Lestrange asked.

"No. I mean yes... No it's that she visits me once a month…" Lucius gave up.

"Lucius my sister wouldn't do you if her life depended on it." Bella said with a threateningly grin.

"Yes she would." Lucius said.

"Lucius, this is not working." Lestrange told him

"Yeah it is probably that he got infected with your disease." Goyle mumbled.

"I told you Goyle circular motions." Lucius coached.

"But your disease." Wormtail mumbled.

"For the last time I don't have crabs…anymore!" Lucius screamed.

As Lucius said that, all the Death Eaters in the building started laughing in his face.

"Shut up!"

This just made everyone erupt in more laughter.

"Let's get out of here."

They were all still laughing.

"I will tell the Dark Lord that you didn't want him back."

They all stopped instantly.

"That is what I thought. Now all of you form a straight line, and follow me."

They all did as they were told.

"Let's fall into the buddy system!" Lucius commanded taking out a list.

"Evil Knitters?"

"Here."

"Licking Doom?"

"Here."

"Nun Eaters?"

"Nun Eaters?"

"For god's sake Crabbe, Goyle."

"Oh…sorry…here." They both mumbled

"Mud bloods Disaster?"

"Here."

"Gryffindors Suck?"

"Present."

"Gay Evil Overlord's bitches?"

"Here, Lucy."

"Don't call me that Wormtail."

"Such a party popper." Wormtail bitched.

"Dark Lords inc.?"

"Present."

"Riddle United?"

"Here."

"F.U.C.K.?"

"F.U.C.K.?"

"Feeble Unstable Crazy Killers?"

"Here."

"The Boy Who Never Died?"

"Lucius they were killed for being traitors."

"Oh, I forgot." He said that only he heard.

"Troubled Waters?"

"Present."

"Dark Lord's right hand man?"

"Present and sexy." He told himself but as he saw the others.

"Don't you dare grin you fools."

Draco couldn't believe it. His father had escaped Azkaban and he had to marry Granger to halt his plans. Not only that but they had to have a child.

Why did they have to have a kid?

That meant that they had to have intercourse and a lot if they wanted to have a kid.

'My children will have twisted hair.' He thought.

'She better be hot under those garments.' Then he shuttered thinking of the time he walked in the prefect's bathroom on her.

She had freckles. 'Eww freckles. Am I doomed to marry something that similar to a Weasel?'

And now she had been standing in front of him.

"Malfoy!"

"Granger." He answered coldly.

"I spoke with Dumbledore."

"About?"

"Well you know." She said growing scarlet. 'She looks more like a Weasel as time passes.'

"No I do not know Granger."

"You know sex." she whispered.

"Granger, I didn't quite catch the last word."

"Sex." she said meekly

"What?" Draco asked enjoying her torture.

" Sex Malfoy! As in intercourse, intimate contact, shagging, love…"

"Granger, Snape is staring at you." Draco said Hermione turning a deeper shade of scarlet.

She slowly was turning around.

"I was just kidding, Granger, we are alone in the corridor."

"You bastard."

"I know Granger, but please continue your train of thought about us having sex."

"Well Dumble…do…dore told me that there is a room we can use."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, he also advised we get started as soon as possible."

"Like now Granger."

"No…no." She mumbled. Then she got angry slapped him and stormed off.

"I will get her later." he told himself.

"You know Malfoy that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.' A cold voice told him.

"What do you want Nott?"

"You are a married man now."

"What is it for you Nott?"

"Do you want him to know?"

"Questions don't answer other questions."

"Then I will tell him Draco." Nott said before walking out.

The next morning four Aurors came to Hogwarts. Two sat in the Gryffindor table and two sat in the Slytherin table.

"Why are they seated here?"

"Well um Harry." Hermione started but Ron interrupted her.

"Harry you are the reason they were in Azkaban."

"Yeah, but why Malfoy?" Dean asked

"He probably did something to piss off his father."

At this Hermione paled.

"Hermione are you alright." Tonks asked.

"You seem a little bit off colour."

"I forgot to do Potions essay." She said before running out of the Great Hall.

"But we don't have a Potion essay due." Ron said.

"Any way guys I have the list." Seamus said.

"Tell them it is the only way." Dean said looking down.

"Well, Malfoy was missing from the library also." Seamus said looking down.

"What?" Ron bellowed looking around the Great Hall to find Malfoy.

"He is not here!"

"Ron calm down. Harry told him."

"But Harry, she is dating the enemy."

"We don't know that for sure."

"But…"

"Ron thinks happy thoughts." Ginny told him.

"Okay, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…"

"Ron does it in your mind." Tonks told him.

"Okay." Ron said.

He started to bang his head on the table.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…

"Stop it! Now!" Pansy Parkinson yelled from the Slytherin table.

"I'll go then!" Ron screamed storming out of the Great Hall. As soon as he left, the Great Hall erupted in cheer.

When Hermione left she went to the only place no one would find her.

The room Dumbledore gave her.

To bad Malfoy was waiting for her there.

"Malfoy."

"Granger."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I need to talk to you."

"Look this is…" She said fumbling with her ring.

"Granger you can't take off the ring."

"I know."

"We need to establish a time for our little visits."

"What?"

"You can't get pregnant without sex and here me though you were the smart one."

"Every day before dinner." Hermione blurted out. Making Draco stand there open mouthed.

He soon composed himself.

"See you at five, Granger." He said before leaving.

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What Will Lucius do?

What will Ron do?

Why is Harry so calm all of the sudden?

Tell me in your reviews.


	4. Daily Prophet

**Don't Own Harry.**

**This is the Daily Prophet look at this like an Easter Egg. Plot continues on the next chapter which will be up on friday(Will be worth the wait). Hope you like it.**

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**Chapter 4**

**Daily Prophet**

**How did they do it?**

Yesterday 21 former Death Eaters disappeared form the Azkaban Wizarding Prison. Yet no Ministry official has specified how did they "do it". This is why the Daily Prophet along with The Quibbler has joined forces to bring you the top five rumours.

They outsmarted the Dementors

This is very likely since 35 Dementors were found dead in the scene. Other Dementors were hiding in the main cell along Ludo Bagman who was repeatedly mumbling "I am not a Dementor. I am not a Dementor" over and over again.

They were killed by the Dementors.

Even though this is rather unlikely it is supported by the account given by the head Dementor who said that this was all taken care of.

They escaped using a dastardly plan.

This is very likely since you Know Who's right hand man Lucius Malfoy was one of those who disappeared. We contacted his wife Narcissa Malfoy in an exclusive interview just last month.

I-What would you like to tell your husband?

N-That he is a no good lying bastard and I hope he rots in hell.

I-You say that for him being a DE?

N-No, I say that because he cheated on me with a crab infested girl whom is his son age.

I-Well can I ask you anything else?

LR-Missis Malfoy will not answer any more of your questions.

They escape and are located in the Bahamas.

Some eyewitness in the Bahamas had told Daily Prophet reporters that they had seen a large group of English people and they had been quoted on saying "We are here because of that cheeky fellow" which we all know is Harry Potter.

They humped there way out.

This is only here for entertainment. I just wanted to see the looks on you faces.

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LRLegal Representation.


	5. Realizations, Announcements and Kidnappi...

I don't not own Harry Potter. Sorry for the delay. Hope you like this one.

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Chapter 5

Ron had never felt worse in his whole life. His best friend was seeing the enemy. As he ran through the corridors he though about Harry's reaction, Hermione's uneasiness, Harry's dream, the Aurors at both tables, Slytherins laughter, and the Death Eaters prison break then all of the sudden it clicked.

"She married Malfoy." He said as he came into realization. "And Harry knows." He said as if he had uncovered who started the war.

"Weasley, didn't know you had it in you?" A female voice said from behind him making Ron turn around.

"What do you want Parkinson?"

"Well, I need help and from the looks of it you do, too."

"Well, why do you think she didn't tell me?"

"Weasley she is scared. Draco is not what you may call a loving person all this only means power to him."

"What should we do?"

"We have to make them hate each other so much they won't be able to have a family."

"But…do they…ewww!"

"Yes they have too."

"Poor children."

"That is exactly what I thought when I found out." She said sympathetically.

"So when do we start?"

"How about we start now?" She asked as she kissed him hard on the lips.

Hermione felt a migraine coming. Her head had begun to pulse. The throbbing aggravated as time passed. She felt her brain bump into her skull and the sensation became exasperating.

She directed herself to the Infirmary so she could get a Pepper Up potion to sooth her ache. As she passed her watch's click replaced the thumping in her head. She felt like her watch was irritating her for its own amusement. She could have sworn that her watch yelled 'It is eight thirty in the morning eight hours and thirty minutes more till your little rendezvous.'

As she prepared to yelled back the image in front of her stopped her in her tracks. Ron and Pansy Parkinson appeared to be making out in the East Corridor. Ron was red in the face and Parkinson had her hands on his neck pulling him closer.

Hermione prepared to scream at Ron when she noticed she was hit by a silencing spell.

Seconds later her world became black.

Draco was in need of a tranquilizer. He needed something to sooth his nerves. He needed a talk. No one had ever said something like that to him. He knew that there didn't had to be any love between them. She spoke of it as if it where a business deal.

"I am the one that is supposed to be the man. Why do I have to grow a heart? Why now? Next I'll be picking baby names.'

Draco needed somebody to talk to. Someone that could understand that being a narcissist bastard was okay. A man he could look up to. Who could guide him to the path of fame and fortune?

'Father could give me one of his chats.' Draco contemplated 'No, he will kill me. Then, who could be the bastard I want to be?'

"Blaise Zabini" He stated as he twirl around like a ballerina.

Blaise Zabini was hit with 'Unknown Spell' as the Slytherins called it, in his seventh year at Hogwarts. His parents made him start over since first year. This way he would learn to be responsible yet he was the exact opposite. In reality Blaise was a cold bastard whose only mission was screw with people's lives. He had the mind of a 24 year old yet he was stuck in the body of a 17 year old. The ill thing was that it didn't bother him.

Draco found Blaise Zabini on the Slytherin common room corridor.

"Hey Zabini"

"What now? Mortal."

"I need help."

"About?"

"I am getting sentimental, I feel unappreciated by my partner."

"This is far worse than I could imagine. Since when do you have this terrible thoughts?"

"They started this morning." Draco said as if he expected to be told of an early death.

"We still have time. To the bat cave." Blaise said pointing is finger upward

"What?"

"You know the cave with bats." Blaise said in a mocking tone.

Draco's face showed his confusion.

"Didn't you have a childhood?"

"Well…"

"Don't answer that just follow me."

Draco followed him as they went up 2 stairs, down 2 stairs, up 2 stairs, down 2 stairs, up 2 stairs, down 2 stairs, up 2 stairs, down 2 stairs, up 2 stairs, down 2 stairs until they reached the Slytherin dungeon. There they took a left and entered a cave which had no bat.

"There are no bats here." Draco said demanding an explanation

"No shit Sherlock."

"What?" Confused face back.

"You really have no life Malfoy."

"At least I am not dating Pansy." Draco said with a very Un-Malfoy comeback.

"Neither am I."

"Then who is?"

"Don't know. Let's spy on her to see."

"Oh well, better than drown on self pity." Draco said sarcastically as Zabini grabbed him by his shoulder.

Theodore Nott's life had always been of a messenger. He told his father his mother died. He told Millicent that she was in fact a girl. And now he had to tell Lucius Malfoy that his son married a curly haired beaver with an otter for a Patronus. His life was getting better each second.

At least he was hiding in the Malfoy villa in the Bahamas.

'I could get the perfect copper skin my sickly pale flesh has wanted.'

'But what if I get red instead of copper?'

'What would the girls think?'

"Nott." Lucius Malfoy said nodding to Theodore who was accompanied by his father.

"Mr. Malfoy, I want to express my gratitude for letting me stay in the villa this weekend."

"No need for formality. I want to convert this into a resort for members of this honourable club."

"Oh."

"So, Theodore what news do you have for me?"

"You son is married."

"What!" Lucius spat losing his composure.

"Well he is. He got married yesterday."

"Who did he impregnate?"

"No one sir. I believe he was forced to marry."

"Why?" Lucius said with all the coldness he could muster.

"I believe there is a prophecy."

"Who?" Lucius said with the same deadly tone as before.

"Dumbledore." Theodore said cowering.

"Enjoy your stay." Lucius spat before he disapparated.

"Shit! He doesn't even know she is a mudblood." Nott senior told said making Theodore gulp.

Ginny Weasley knew something was odd. Nobody was paying attention to her. Everyone was talking about Hermione's disappearance yesterday.

"They act as she was pretty. Don't they Luna?"

"Well, she corrects their homework."

"That is beside the point."

"Okay."

"I hate her." Ginny announced.

"Why Ginny?"

"They all are saying that she is dating Malfoy."

"Ginny, it is unfounded she could be dating a six year boy."

"Why do you defend her so much? I thought I was your best friend."

"You are Ginny, but you have to make a choice. Either shut up or do something about it."

"I could kidnap her. That way everyone will forget her."

"Ginny I think you should… Yet Luna never finished since Ginny bolted looking for Hermione."

"I shouldn't have let her swig that 'No More Cramps' potion I made. This will make us end up in Azkaban."

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Please :P


	6. AntiGinny and Malfoy Family Relationship...

Dont own Harry.

I am so sorry for the lack of updates. School is killing me. This is not betaed. When it is I will repost it. Hope you like this chapter. R and R. Tell me if characters are OOC.

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**Chapter 6**

A crying Malfoy found Hermione before her captor had time to take her away. Draco wiped the tears in his eyes and led her into the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey told she had been hit with a simple hex yet Hermione wouldn't wake up. She assured him that this is completely normal on wizarding marriages. One of the participants couldn't get used to the others magic.

Hermione woke in the Hospital Wing two days later. Ron told her she had been found in the girl's bathroom so she wouldn't freak out with the 'We all know you married him' fondness. Hermione soon started to research. If she was going to have Malfoy's kid she was going to make sure they only did it once. She researched fertility spells.

Then a though clouded her mind.

'Who jinxed you?'

'Someone hates you.'

'You have bushy hair.'

'Your babies will be ugly.'

'Draco is hot.'

'You are normal!'

'Yeah right!'

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'

'Draco couldn't feel any more idiotic.'

When she never arrived on Tuesday he truly though he had been stood up. He even cried. He felt used. As if he was never going to be happy. When he gained his courage to go out into the world and tell Hermione he didn't need her. He found her in the corridor. She had been hit by a strong sleeping spell.

Now they were supposed to continue their visits. He told Nott everything at breakfast.

He told Pansy he had to go to the Adam and Eve Painting. Even Crabbe and Goyle told him to shut up. Now he was scared. What if she caught them? What if she joined in?

A smile formed.

What if she took Weasel along?

"Ewww" Draco said aloud.

Then the clock sang. "Five golden rings."

Pansy was gaining speed she was running as fast as she could. She had found out their meeting place. Draco let it slip. It was in the sixth floor just below Gryffindor Tower. Pansy was about to jump on Hermione when a familiar figure stopped her pursuit.

"Mr. Malfoy!"

"Pansy, my dear how are you?" Lucius slurred smiling.

"I am…Are you drunk?"

"What do you call drunk?"

"Loosing your balance."

"Then my dear I am drunk."

"Why are you here?"

"Heard my son married without my blessing?"

"So you where told he married a mudblood."

"He what!"

"You didn't know?"

"No that part." He stated his normal composure quickly returning.

"Oh."

"Why did he marry?"

"I heard of a prophecy."

"She wouldn't dare."

"What are you trying to say Mr. Malfoy?"

"I know Narcissa wanted to get back at me but she couldn't be so reckless."

"I think you should speak to Draco before you concluded anything."

"I should."

Ginny Weasley wasn't sane the moment she drank a sample of Luna's potion. She became the exact opposite of what she truly was. Luna had concluded that the rat hairs made the potion change from anti cramps to "Sub Consensus" which meant that Ginny's Sub conscious mind took over her and that the true Ginny was trapped deep inside cursing her fate.

Anti-Ginny started to stealthily follow Hermione around. She had successfully followed her for 3 days. Yet Luna had followed Ginny for 3 days also.

Hermione stopped in front of a painting when Malfoy arrived. Both Anti-Ginny and Luna hid in the corners.

"Granger, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Malfoy the faster we finish the better."

"Well after you."

They both entered the painting.

Anti-Ginny and Luna stayed put. Luna couldn't believe it Hermione was sleeping with the enemy.

After a lot of sounds and screaming AKA the shortest sexual encounter in the world they both left the room. Hermione was preparing to run away.

"Granger!"

"What else do you want Malfoy?" She said teary eyed.

At that moment Draco kissed Hermione.

And at that same moment Lucius Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Ron, Harry, Seamus, Dean and Neville stepped in the corridor.

"Draco, get away from that thing."

"Hermione, what the hell are you doing?"

"Neville you owe me a galleon."

As the realization that everyone knew Hermione did the only thing, familiar enough to create e good excuse.

She slapped Malfoy.

"What did I do?"

"You were born."

"Slap him then." He said pointing at his father cowering in fear as Lucius glared at him directly.

"Draco we are leaving this instant."

"Yes daddy." Draco agreed as he saw his father's wand.

"Bloody hell." Ron said.

"His life isn't perfect?" Seamus asked.

"He must of…" Neville never finished he fainted.

Lucius grabbed Draco by the arm directing him to the old charms classroom where a fireplace was located.

"Harry, tell Dumbledore!" Hermione screamed.

Soon everyone left leaving Hermione alone. Or better said with Anti-Ginny keeping her company,

Seconds later Hermione realized who had hit her two days ago.

She was sucked into darkness yet again.

Next ChapterHighlight.

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Anti Ginny quickly took Hermione and flooed to the only place she could.

To Bill's flat.

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	7. Dinner At Malfoy Manor

Harry Potter related things not mine. 

This is proofread. I also want people to tell me if they like were the story is headed. I get the feeling that people don't like were it's headed and like a lot of fics I like I will head nowhere. Based on my family :P.

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Chapter 7

Draco stepped into the floo network and yelled 'Malfoy Manor'. As Draco stepped out Lucius flooed into the Manor. A house elf appeared.

"Where is that harlot?" Lucius yelled.

"Master Malfoy, Pinky has orders that you mustn't interrupt dinner." The elf answered shaking profusely. Draco started to move sideways ready to sprint towards his room. The elf would serve as a distraction for his father. 'Mum will protect me'.

"Get out of the way. And you." He said as he pointed his wand at Draco, making Draco shriek like a girl. "Follow me."

"Yes, sir." Draco said through clenched teeth.

Lucius almost ran to the main hall his cloak billowing as he moved. When he and Draco reached the hall, Lucius yelped at the sight in from of him.

Narcissa was eating happily, accompanied by her two sisters, their respected husbands and a pink haired girl.

"How could you?" Lucius whispered glaring at Andromeda.

"Get a grip Lucius Andy may be a muggle loving fool but she is still my sister." Bella replied.

"This comes from the woman who killed her own cousin." Draco said quickly cowering as his aunt shot him a deadly 'Black glare'.

"'Cissa you should teach him his place in this family." Bellatrix sneered

"You will not tell me how to raise my son." Lucius stated his composure resurfacing.

"Will you shut up Lucius! She is right. Draco, apologize." She said pointing at her son.

"I am so…sor…" Draco started to say.

"Don't you dare apologize; you are a Malfoy." Lucius screamed tugging Draco's collar.

"Draco, don't listen to your father." Narcissa said grabbing Draco's shirt.

"But…" Draco continued.

"Shut up you conniving witch." Lucius screamed loosing all his Malfoy coolness.

"At least I don't pass my days screwing a prostitute!"

"She was no prostitute!"

"Then she was a whore then it makes no difference." Bella told Lucius.

"You stay out of this!" Narcissa told her sister startling Bella.

As the three of them continued to shoot insults. Andromeda Draco's other aunt offered him a seat.

"So Draco how is the marriage going."

"How do you know?"

"Your mother told me." At this Draco's cheeks tinged a rosy colour.

"Why do they fight so much?"

"I don't know they have always been that way."

"I don't remember them fighting." Draco held.

"That is because you weren't at the wedding." Lestrange told.

"What happened at the wedding?" The pink haired girl asked.

"She caught him snogging the Maid of Honor."

"Wasn't Bellatrix the maid of honor?" Tonks asked at this Lestange's face became what most people would call an evil smile.

"Exactly."

"I do not want to know this." Draco uttered.

"Nonsense little ferret."

"Nymphadora don't…"

"How many times do I have to say it's…"

"Shut up!"

"Yes madam."

"Young Malfoy is right." Mr. Tonks stated making both his parents remember Draco.

"You mudblood." Lucius said pointing his wand a Ted Tonks. "Don't you dare side with my son."

"Why can't I?"

"He married a mudblood just like your wife." My lineage has been cursed with the Balck curse.

"Lucius please calm down." Andromeda begged. "Cissa you should talk about this alone with your husband."

"Andromeda!"

"Bellatrix!"

"Narcissa!" Tonks cried making fun of her mother and aunt.

"Nymphadora shut up!"

"Yes madam." Tonks said crouching.

"We must let them be Bella."

"You are right."

"As always." Andromeda said making Bella glare at her yet Andromeda was unaffected by the Black glare.

"Bye 'Cissa, thank you for dinner."

"Next time make sure he doesn't ruin it."

"I will."

Soon Draco's family left. He was left alone with his father and mother. 'I need a drink.' Lucius stated directing himself towards his study. As soon as Lucius entered the study a scream filled the whole house. The scream was a mixture of fright and disgust. Narcissa quickly ran towards the study followed by Draco. The sight made Draco smirk. His father was sprawled in the floor tears all over his face. Narcissa sat next to him holding Lucius face whispering in his ears trying to calm him down.

"Weren't you two fighting?"

"Shush." Narcissa told him with a glare.

"Why did you do this to me love?"

"What is he talking about?"

Narcissa pointed at the wall were the Malfoy family tree was located. Draco soon found the reason for his father's distress. In the tree Draco's name was connected to Hermione's name. But the problem was the line connected to their line. Exactly under their names a new name appeared. The name was bleeding blood.

_Lyra Malfoy_

"Mum what have I done?"

"Darling it's not your fault."

"Tell me."

"This is a stupid thing that happens when the bloodline is tainted."

"The flying pigs won't kill me? Will they?"

"No, Draco."

"The prophecy has been fulfilled." Draco said his ego growing. At this Narcissa paled.

"There is no prophecy; I made it up to get back at your father."

"You did what!" Both Draco and Lucius screamed.

"You slept with that thing." She said accusing Lucius.

"I was under the Imperio."

"Still, you slept with her."

"You had to ruin our son's life because of it."

"You weren't this mad when they were married."

"We could easily kill her. Now she is a true Malfoy." He said as if he were truly disappointed with her.

"Draco loves her."

"No I don't." Draco argued.

"What about the constant teasing, the stories, the diary entries, the constant need to push her buttons?"

"I was bored!" Draco cried.

"You are just like your father."

"Am not!" "He's not!" They both said.

"Draco, live in the new world! You and your father are alike. Your father always said he hated me and look at him now; he would happily join Dumbledore if it meant another night in my bed."

"I would not…" Lucius said unconvincingly.

"May I remind you that my sister reads your diary religiously."

"It's a journal."

"So you do have a diary."

"Journal."

"It is the same thing."

After 20 minutes of fighting, both his parents agreed on using diary. Narcissa said that it showed Lucius command of his sexuality. Lucius agreed. He didn't need the approval of anyone.

Draco remembered something. He was supposed to meet Zabini. He had to spy on Pansy.

"Can I be excused?"

"Yes darling and remember don't come unannounced. His mother told him just before she started snogging his father."

'Ewww. What now, a kid sister?'

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Bill's Flat will be next.

Happy to become less cofusing as chapters continue.


	8. Trouble at Bill's Flat

New Chapter thanks for the reviews.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 8 

For the third night in a row Bill had gone out. His outings weren't exactly for an evil cynical purpose. He wanted Fleur to be dazzled by him. He had taken Fleur to an expensive restaurant ordered the most expensive champagne and for the first time he dressed in 'normal attire'.

Bill Weasley had a plan.

He wanted to get laid. He felt that he had waited far too long for this. Fleur turned 18, eleven months before and still she didn't get the initiative. She like every night before let him in, made out with him and as soon as he got into it she kicked him out. Leaving the poor Weasley lonely with only his hand for comfort.

Yes. Bill Weasley had been turned down on a Woo-Hoo (copywriter by The Sims 2 people) for the last time. He needed someone. Soon his head filled with potential candidates he turned down.

'To think I could've dated Tonks.'

All of the suddenhe concluded that he should go get the Nymph and bring her to his flat. Bill apparated to the outside of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. When he stumbled inside he saw her. Tonight she had her hair long and black. As soon as Bill saw her he did what every drunk man in his position would do.

"Tonks I need you to fix my VCR."

"Bill I thought you didn't have one."

"Well now I do."

"Bill I really need to leave." Tonks said pointing towards her hair.

"You're on order business."

"Yeah."

"Well I really need my VCR fixed."

"I can only spare half and hour." Tonks said morphing into her normal pink short hair.

'She can morph' He thought a smile forming in his lips.

"Bill, stop looking at my arse." Tonks told him with a smirk plastered on her face.

'I am so damn stupid.' Bill pondered turning the famous Weasley shade of red.

Soon both of them reached Bill's flat as soon as they were at the door Bill kissed Tonks sloppily in her lips.

Thanks when Tonks noticed something.

"Bill!"

"I…I…a…am…so…so…rry."

"Bill someone's inside." Tonks whispered her wand ready at her side. "Stay here."

"Okay." Bill drunkenly responded.

_Tonks entered his flat.  
_

Draco hid himself behind the statues until he spotted Zabini leaving the Great Hall.

"Psst psst Zabini over here." Draco spoke softly.

"Draco, come on, they are about to leave." As soon as Draco was next to him Blaise grabbed him by his shirt and hurried both of them forward. All Draco could hear was a faint.

"Tin tin tin, tun tu rum, tin tin tin, tun tu rum, ti ni ni, ti ni ni, di din."

"What the hell are you doing Zabini?"

"Shut up." Blaise whispered back pushing him into the empty classroom.

They both hid behind the main pillar as two figures entered.

"Parkinson what do you need to talk about?" Ron asked as Pansy shoved him into the wall kissing him fiercely on the lips.

Draco and Blaise stood dumbstruck watching the heated exchange between the two prefects.

"Look Parkinson it has been fun but I don't think that this will make Hermione see the errors of her ways."

"So you have been using me"? Pansy wailed.

"Wasn't that the plan?"

"You said you love me." She began to cry.

"I never said that."

"I love you." Pansy whispered.

"What!" Both Draco and Blaise screamed in shock.

"You!" Ron bellowed pointing at Draco

"What about me?" Draco asked acidly.

"You are cheating on Hermione!"

"What!" Blaise and Draco both yelled. (AN notice the change in the order :P)

"With that!" Pansy shrieked her face full of disgust.

"What!" Draco shrieked then looking at Blaise. "Hell no!"

"Then why are both of you alone in this classroom?"

"Pansy, we were following you and may I remind you that both of you in a very similar situation."

"Then why are you both sweaty and scruffy?"

"What happens when people run Pansy?"

"They sweat and damage thier clothes." She answered shyly.

"DING, DING, DING!" Peeves roared as he floated inside the classroom. He quickly left after Draco shot him a glare. Mumbling 'Cocky Albino' as he left.

"Look, me and Ron are seeing each other so what?"

"No we are…nn." He was interrupted by another kiss. Draco and Blaise tried not to spew.

Both of them left quickly looking for a more private place probably a broom closet.

"Well that settles that." Blaise stated before he left Draco left soon after.

Dracoentered Slytherin common room to get some peace and quiet. As he sat inhis armchair an eagle owl soared inside. Draco quickly recognized it was his father. He also recognized the howler in its foot.

"You have got to be a really sick bastard to do all of this to me!" Draco screamed looking upwards.

_45 minutes after Tonks entrance into Bill's flat._

"Tonks are you okay in there."

"Mm."

"What is that?" Bill asked as he entered his flat wand in hand.

"Drop it!" A female voice said from behind him.

"Ginny!" Bill shouted. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"I need a place to crash." Ginny stated coldly.

"Where is Tonks?" Bill asked as Hermione pointed towards the floor where both Hermione and Tonks were lying there unable to move.

"Ginny what is wrong?" Bill raised his wand.

"Stupify!" The spell hit Ginny knocking her out cold.

"How can an auror and the smartest with in a century be captured by a normal 6th year?" Bill teased.

"This way." Ginny said as she hit his head with a golf club (AN Don't ask).

"Now, Hermione, better get comfortable you will be here a long time." Anti Ginny said as she took the fungus balls out of Tonks and Hermione's mouths.

"Ginny what the hell are you doing?" Tonks gasped.

"I am going to find Draco and I am going to kill him."

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"He left me for an ugly, overachieving, Know it-all beaver!" Anti Ginny wailed.

"You were dating him?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Well, no."

"You kidnapped me for a non existent relationship you had with Draco Malfoy?"

"Well…yeah."

"Ginny I have never said this to anyone in my life but YOU HAVE ISSUES!" Hermione cried.

"But you and him." Ginny whispered.

"We had to get married for a stupid prophecy that is all."

"So me and him can get together?"

As Hermione opened her mouth to say 'yes' Tonks interrupted her.

"No Ginny."

"What?" Both Hermione and Anti-Ginny bellowed.

"The Black and Malfoy Marriage Contracts clearly state that you can only marry once unless the other person di." Tonks didn't finish the sentence in fear of Ginny.

"Why?" Hermione asked rapidly.

"Who do you think I am their lawyer, I don't know."

As Draco prepared himself for the worst the whole Slytherin Common Room grew quiet in anticipation for the howler.

"DRACO FREDRICK MALFOY HOW DARE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION."

Draco for the first time in his life turned a deep shade of red. And not just any red, Gryffindor red.

"SINCE YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE… 'Cissa stop licking my earlobe…YOU MUST BRING THE GIRL HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE"

Draco stood stupefied. He went from Slytherin Prince to a peverts son. He wanted to die.

"AND REMEMBER THE TRIP TO THE NEW COUNTRYCLUB WILL BE ON SPRING BREAK"

"Looks like you have to find Granger!" Pansy howled.

"Parkinson, remember this…before I kill myself you will die." Draco said this in such a soft and cold voice that the whole common room grew silent.

"And as for you fools got screw yourselves, bastards!" He screamed before storming out of the common room his robes fluttered behind him.

As soon as he left the common room he bumped into his least favorite Ravenclaw.

"What do you want Lovegood?"

"Hermione has been kidnapped."

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Draco did the least Malfoy thing he could do.

He fell to the floor wailing like a baby. Mumbling 'illeathor' while spit fell from his mouth.

"Nice going Luna." Harry Potter said as he left his hiding place.

"Not my fault."

"You should've waited." Theo Nott said as he came from the shadows.

"What should we do now?"

"We should se Professor Snape he may tell me what the potion is doing to Ginny." Luna offered.

"What potion?" Nott asked.

"It is a really long story."

"Pick him up." Luna ordered.

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Say the mumbled things out loud. 

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	9. The Rather Easy Escape

Not JKR. Sorry for the huge delay. I had writters block. The chapter won't be that funny but the next two are planned. I feel like I needed to get this chapter over and done with.

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Chapter 9

Snape was grading his 7th year papers. The toll count for the moment was that 95 percent of his students would be ready for the NEWTS the other it would seems didn't know how to read. As he was ready to call the two Hufflepuffs the boy who lived to remind him he lost the love of his life to Potter entered accompanied by his favorite Slytherin and the loony Ravenclaw. Snape mumbled 'disgusting display of House Unity if you ask me' under his breath.

"Twenty points from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw!" Snape bellowed at the sight of his students.

"But Professor, Nott is here with us." Luna whined her dreamy self forgotten.

"Mr. Nott has a good excuse for being out. Don't you Theodore?" Snape asked Nott giving him the 'better be believable look'.

"Well, umm, Professor. Malfoy freaked out and, umm, I helped them drag him here." Nott said this while his pores let out gallons of sweat. 'How is it that I can face Lucius Malfoy and still be scared of Snape?' Theo thought.

"Mr. Nott that is normal Mr. Malfoy is just different." As Snape said this Theo couldn't make up his mind on which Malfoy he was talking about.

"Well Professor what should we do about Malfoy?" Harry asked finding his voice.

"Well _Potter _maybe you should bring him in?" Snape replied his voice disgustingly sweet pointing a Draco.

Draco was curled up on the entrance floor his thumb on his mouth. Harry and Nott put him on one of the desks. Then everyone remained silent for a second not sure if the should disturb Draco from his sleep. Even Harry understood that this was to be a very hard time for him. Yet the silence was broken by none other than Luna.

"You do notice that he drooled all over his shirt." She pondered as if it was a Quibbler headline.

"Way to kill the silence, _Loony_." Theo sneered glaring at Luna.

"At least I am not a Death Eater in training." She retorted seeming normal.

"So the crazy witch has feelings after all!" Theo said in a mock surprised voice. "And here I thought you were too crazy to have feelings."

"Nott shut up!" Snape ordered as he took out a crystal flask. "Now please tell me the real reason why you four are here disturbing me, this late at night."

Harry taking the leader role started telling Snape about Hermione's disappearance and Luna filled him in on Ginny's change in attitude while Nott sat in a stool spinning in circles showing his boredom. When they finished their story Snape stood some minutes in silence. Then he accioed a book. The book hit Nott in the head as it flew in. After a few moments Snape spoke.

"Lovegood did you sneeze while you were making the potion?" Snape asked his voice clearly professional.

"Well Professor now that I think about it…I did." Luna replied her face covered by her signature dreamy look.

"Well it seems not only the rat hairs were the cause for a change in the potion." He stated. "To think I wrote to that stupid magazine telling them only experts are aloud to make that potion". Snape started mumbling to himself.

"Professor, what should we do about Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"Well Potter since all three of you were so keen on bringing him into my classroom you should give him this." Snape said as he handed Harry the crystal vial. Nott and Luna grabed Draco's head and as soon as the vial touched Draco's lips Harry felt the same tugging feeling he felt in the Quidditch World Cup. It was a portkey.

"Tonks do it quick!" Bill yelled as Ginny entered the room.

"Do what?" Anti Ginny asked.

"This!" Tonks said as she knocked Anti Ginny out with a large blue-silver book (AN you better know) over the head.

"Now what should we do?" Bill asked.

"We should floo, and go to Hogwarts." Hermione quickly replied. All three of them climbed in the fireplace took a handful of Floo powder and yelled "Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry'.

"You three went first?" Bill said grinning. "You needed a strong man to protect you."

As Hermione and Tonks left the fireplace both kicked Bill in the shin Hermione on the left and Tonks on the right. Bill almost dropped Ginny but ended up falling with Ginny landing on top of him. The whole room was filled with laughter.

Anti Ginny woke up.

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Where has the unlikely foursome gone?


	10. The Boy and The Memory

AN-This is not betaed. Tell me if there are any errors. Sorry for the long delay. My life has been so crazy lately.

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Chapter 10

Harry Potter always had a feeling that there was someone up in the sky watching his every move. He felt like the main character in a very distinct story. But like many other stories he always found himself in hells door. Yet this was not one of those times.

"Luna get up!"

"Harry stop touching my…"(leave that for your perverse minds to answer :P)

"Oops sorry that was me." Nott said as he received a fairly good slap from Luna.

"Where are we?" Harry asked.

"I believe this is Malfoy Manor." Luna answered.

"How wrong you two are."

"What do you mean Nott?" Harry spat.

"This is Malfoy estate I know this because…well..."Then he added in a small voice "I have been here before."

"That is obvious you are a Slytherin."

"No person has entered this estate in 19 years." He said in grimace.

"What do you mean Nott?"

"This is where Draco's brother was murdered."

"What?" Both Harry and Luna exclaimed.

"His brother was killed by a muggle servant one of the reasons why Lucius joined the cause. Well that was before the Dementor humping. I guess that in this family Loonyness is passed on, oh, no offense Luna." Luna quickly slapped him.

"Har, har."

"Why would Snape send us here?"

"He wants Draco to understand." Said Nott.

"Understand what?" Harry asked.

"That the Malfoy family did not always support the Anti-Muggle thus all the weird stuff happening in the Malfoy Manor are not what his ancestors believe but what his father believes."

"Didn't the Blacks hate muggles?"

"The first Blacks did not. All these things happened without notice Sorcerers wanted to compete with Europeans elites this was the way to do it."

"Hating all Muggles?" Luna asked clearly wanting to learn more.

"Yes I know. They should have just excluded your kind." Hence another slap was heard.

"MMM…"

"What was that?" All three of them asked as they huddled up together much like the way the Golden trio did. Later did they notice that it was just Draco.

"Hermione don't I…" Draco was then shaken up from his dream by Nott. "What happened?" he asked.

"Not much princess because of you we are all stuck in this place till you find a way to let us out." Nott barked.

"Let them out." Draco said.

At that same moment everything around them suddenly changed. They found themselves inside a crystal room.

"We where in your pensive?" Nott Yelled at Draco pushing him back.

"It isn't his fault" Harry said. Everyone in the room stared blank eyed at the Boy Who Live. "Shit I am getting soft."

"Never do that again." Draco pleaded

"That was sweet Harry." Luna cooed.

"Where is Hermione?" Draco suddenly asked.

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